Well, I went in for the second time. I admit, I was nervous and probably not too optimistic. I managed to fudge my way through the warm up and then found myself getting ready for pole paired, once more, with tall thin, good dancer lady.
When she asked me to video her that was the worst point. I could see her both in the flesh and via lens doing pirpuettes wonderfully while my reflection stood there, round shouldered, fat thighs and GEEK radiating out of me.
I made it though the hour and had a good chat with some of the ladies from the class. They very sweetly tried to convince me that I think I suck but am ok, that everyone feels that way. As a teacher I know that’s true to an extent, but as a woman I question why I want to spend an hour a week making myself feel miserable.
After crying along my way home I looked up one to one options. Then I thought it’s best to put that on the back burner. Perhaps once I’ve got my fitness up and lost a bit of cellulite I’ll try again. Perhaps there will never be a day when I’m ready to try dancing in short shorts.
To cheer myself up I’ve booked in for a spray tan and hair cut. At least then I’ll be a tanned, uncoordinated geek!
I texted the co-ordinator today to say thanks but the class just isn’t for me. She kindly offered me a slot in the next beginners class, I can’t face it though. At least it was only a four week course 🙂